I’ve been thinking recently about all the different hats that I wear on a day to day basis. Sometimes it can be a bit overwhelming. And sometimes, I think that it is what I thrive on.
Chef (or at least, line cook)
And that’s the short list. How do I keep all these things balanced? Recently, my housekeeping has been taking a bit of a hit. I know that Jordan and my kids don’t really care, but it bothers me and makes me feel like I’m letting down my family.
I (re)started my masters program yesterday, and it has obviously been a while since I’ve been in school. My first assignment was to write a two-to-three page paper, and I just about died when I saw that I only had a week to do it.
Now, I have a degree in history. I can crank out some papers. And by the time I did the reading and sat down to write an outline (thank you high school English teachers!), I realized it wasn’t going to be so bad. My outline is whole page long, and doesn’t even include complete sentences. I can definitely turn it into a two-to-three page paper.
But I’ve had to devote some of my zealously guarded nap times to this kind of stuff, and I’m feeling a bit lame-o about it. I want to be a better teacher. I want the pay raise. I want my masters degree. But I don’t want to have to spend any of my precious TIME to do it!
Basically, I want my cake and to eat it too. And in my mental arguments for why I shouldn’t have to spend any of my precious nap time to get this work done, I starting making a list of all the things I DO on a day-to-day basis. Ever want to feel unappreciated and dissatisfied? Make a list like that.
Instead, I need to focus again on the things that matter. I may not have a lot of free time, but my babies will not be babies for very long. I may not want to write papers and read educational stuff, but the pay raise will help provide for my family. I may not want to think about being a teacher during the summer, but I love my job and wouldn’t ever choose anything else.
Positivity. Positivity is the name of the game.